Ode to the Immortal Stump
(Or, How a Tree Ruined My Sports Career and Homeowner Dreams) There’s a stubborn old stump in my yard, It stands like a guard, wooden and hard. It laughs while I trip and I tumble and bleed, Ignoring my curses and desperate plead. No baseball, no tennis, no football can play, My wife sighs, “No patio—just wood in the way!”…

